Teksty: Weird Al Yankovic. Couch Potato.

Look, if you had, one shot
To sit on your lazy butt, and watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush, would you go for it
Or just let it slip
Yo

[Verse 1]
Remote is ready, eyes wide palms are sweaty
Theres Flintstones on the TV all ready, Wilma and Beatty
No virgin, I'm channel surfin and I'm HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all I'm getting
The Simon Cal, who folks wanna disembowel
He oppens his mouth, always say something fowl
Their dying wow, wannabes are crying now
He votes em out, time to throw in the towl
Shows based on reality, oh the humanity
Oh the these family shows, love profanity
Woh the insanity, oh dogs that crap and pee
Home of degravity, no they live happily
Yo, plust the Ali G show, and celebrity mo
Oh theres Anna Nicole, she scarin me
Look ma no cavites, oh its a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and micorwave something

[Chorus]
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, they scold me, but I still tune into every show (oh)
My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO
The travel channel has gone furry and lifetime
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, controlled me, turn off those music videos (oh)
I'm gonna watch CSPAN TVLand and HBO
The History Channel, and QVC, and Lifetime
Your gonna...

[Verse 2]
My butt is aking, as I watch Nascar racing
That show about undertaking, Larry King
To 24 to, Law & Order
The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes
Ancient reporters, next up on E True Hollywood Story
The rise and decline of 12 actors named Cory
Shows for next fall, they already been namin
CSI: Boise, and Touched by an Uncle
Both sound pretty lamen, and so does everybody who tolerates Ramond
And King of Queens jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it
I move right on to 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter
Then I bet I watch the Bachelorette, followed by welcome back Cotter
And the Muppets show where they go and I'm not

[Chorus]
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, they scold me, but I still tune into every show (oh)
My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO
The Disney channel and A&E and lifetime
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, controlled me, but I still love Lisa Cudrow (oh)
I'm lookin at CSPAN TVLand and HBO
The Playboy Channel, CourtTV, and Lifetime
Your gonna...

[Verse 3]
Never miss Melorose Place or Lost in Space
I've seen each Amazing Race, Without a Trace
But I only watched Will & Grace, one time, one day
Wish I Hadn't, cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay
Oh, and Fear Factor, I watched maybe a halfhour
After that, felt like I needed a long Shower
Network Execs with naked ambition
Nextweek on fox watch lions eat Christians
Liked to tie up those programming planners
Make them watch all that junk until there heads explode just like scanners
Leech coverd, grub-eatin fools on Survivor
Look theres James Lipton discussin the ohbra of
Mr. Rob Schneider and those gilligan and Spongebob
Plus there MaGiver and Jay Leno has got Madonna
Haters Luke Perry and a special all piglatin episode of Drew Carey
Wanna turn on ET, cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who JLo is marring this week
A 30 second spot welcome back to Are You Hot
I was plannin on recording the Sopranos, I forgot
I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare until my legs are numb, my eyes blood shot
Because I only got, one brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watchin television a lot

[Chorus]
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, theyscold me, but I still tune into every show (oh)
My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO
The Sifi channel and AMC and lifetime
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, controlled me, turn off that Oprah Winfrey show (oh)
I got it on CSPAN TVLand and HBO
The Learing Channel and MTV, and Lifetime
Your gonna...

You can watch anything you want to man